Breathless.

I’m tired of crying, and slowly dying
I’m tired of the bruises in my heart.
I’m tired of craving, and really needing
The high of the priceless sleep.

Hours turned days, turned months
Half a year went by
No people came, no people went
But you and sleep said goodbye.

Lying under these pine trees,
Under the stars take me back
To those days, the normal days
When you and I weren’t far.

This sleepless cloud of fear and pain
The dying heart and the bleeding brain
The heartfelt words and the efforts in vain; I love
This cloud that never pours the happy rain.

This daily war between me and myself
The daily struggle and the loosing self
The loved ones and how I repel ; I love
This war that marks me the foolish belle.

Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Don’t come back, it won’t end well
But I wish you’d tell me to.
Billie Eilish

Muse.

I cry now, because I feel things
I broke the numbness and now I feel the pain;
The joy, the rush, the love, and you.
God damn lover, I love you too.

The way you wore poetry on your lips,
My words tinted red
A swig of whiskey, And your black dress
To go with your red lips, and you

Come into my arms,
Lets dance under the moonlight
Like a romance novel, a cliché song
Touch your cheek with mine,
Jazz and rosé, wine and dine
Like a romance novel, a cliché song
And sleep under the stars. Oh baby,

You are my muse,
With some coffee and booze
Let us stare at the sun and figure out shit;
And kiss me on my lips
When the stars are no more lit
And I will scream out in your ears,
God damn lover, I love you too.

-Stangel

Dance with me under the moonlight.
Sing to me a beautiful song.
Let’s pretend we’re not just friends.
Dance with me all night long.
Peter Ansley

Faces (A snippet)

Faces pass by, mysterious stories
A smile some, others a face so poker.
Some eyes meet, most just walk;
As I waddled through the water,
Swimming in the pool of oblivion

Faces pass by, until one stopped
A smile held me captive, Lasso ’round my neck
Eyes held mine, on gunpoint, starry eyes
Pulled me up, out of the mist,
And the arrow escaped, cupid smirked.

– Stangel

I never would’ve known from that look on your face
Lost in your current, like a priceless wine
Taylor Swift

Right here.

Standing here, watching you fade away
In tiny bits and pieces and then altogether
Your arms in mine, but so far away
But I will stay. Stay right here.

Every step, Every month, I realize
I fell, oh baby did I fall, each time
Deeper than the last time, into your eyes
I jumped and I will stay. Stay right here.

Round and round baby steps, you and I
Blocking out the hurt, flirting with hope
This is meant to be, this is it; You and I.
I will love and I will stay. Stay right here.

Till the moon is back, till the rainbow shines
Till the snow comes down, till you come around
I will wait darling, crossing all my lines
I will wait and I will stay. Stay right here.

-Stangel

I will stay with you as each morning brings sunrise
And the flowers bloom in springtime
On my love you can rely
And I’ll stay with you
John Legend

One fine day,

I dived in deep
Brought you along to drown
But little did I know that one fine day
Your body, frozen smile, would float.

I pulled you up
Fallen angel from above
But little did I know that one fine day
Your wings would grow without a halo.

I trapped your mind
And made it crave hate
But little did I know that one fine day
Your heart would bleed no more.

I pushed you down
Pushed you away from me
But little did I know that one fine day
Your hands would love no more.

I buried you alive
Deep down in my heart
But little did I know that one fine day
Your gasps for air would stop.

– Stangel

Our love is six feet under
I can’t help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Would roses bloom?
Billie Eilish

Hold on.

A tale thus began, when your eyes found mine
A journey, two weary travellers, and one destination
But the invisible strings that tied you to me,
Lied to you, and me and us.

Every day she waited, for him to turnback; Search.
Those eyes that once craved hers, now wander elsewhere
Her heart cries and sobs to be embraced,
Her shadow felt lonely. So did her loneliness.

But she stopped not. Her hands around the spark,
She held on to her hope, her love, their strings.
The dried rose between the pages of the tragic lovers,
She held on and fought; Juliet would be proud.

Fear gripped her with every breath for she
Flirted with hope. But she is a fighter, and more a lover
Falling for him she regrets not; the breeze of the distance
Felt cold against their love’s skin. Yet, this too shall pass.

– Stangel

But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love’s for show
But I would die for you in secret
Taylor Swift

Illicit

Clandestine. Magical kiss.
Like the salty breeze through your hair
The sunset lies, colours change
Clandestine. Our treasured touch.

They know, they all do
But a secret it is, we are, you and I
You and I, we are a secret well known
They know, it is all that they know.

But why do you run, and run,
Standing here, being your illicit touchdown
Just come back, its going to be alright
But why do you run, far back to her,

This is not the end of, us.
All in circle, round and round
But baby I’m your clandestine square.
This is not the end of, this is not the end of us.

– Stangel

Don’t call me “kid,” don’t call me “baby”
Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else
Taylor Swift

You and I

Dancing on the cliff, drops on my face
In the sea of blood, I swam with a smile
Screams are all muffled, there’s a wet cushion
Round and round it goes and yet I walk straight.

Nobody knows, about you in my soul
They only know the pretty smile I put
Making up for all the debts you made
You bleed and tears stain my cheeks.

Its not easy, with you stuck to me
For I know not who you even are
From your tight embrace, I break and run
But well, Round and round it goes.
Round and round it goes.

– Stangel

Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek
That’s what a year long headache does to you
I’m not okay, I feel so scattered
Don’t say I’m all that matters
Leave me, deja vu
Billie Eilish

Don’t.

This voice in my head
Slow poison, but don’t kill me
The green leaves dance, the wind blows
Leave me alone, but don’t let me go.

This bee inside me
Keep buzzing, please don’t stop
The sky full of starts, a shining moon
Bind me to you, but never with.

This love around me,
Hug me in your warmth, not tight
The tears that bleed, black in me
Go on, fade, but don’t you let me go.

– Stangel

“Take the words for what they are
A dwindling, mercurial high
A drug that only worked
The first few hundred times”
Taylor Swift

Scribbling🖋

The rhythm flowed like a heat wave
My chest felt warm. The sky, grey.
I could smell the wild, the wild roses
That you gave me when we first met

The knocks on your door unanswered
I came shook your core. You shut tight.
Bruises never knew, never knew their master
Etched my heart and you hoped to die

Black lies and the white truths, colors
We never knew existed. Four walls.
Me and my past life, past life came home
When I called out but all was numb

The room is spinning, people be tripping
One more day we hold. Bottle in your hand.
Hopeless I walked, I walked till the thorns
Bleeding and running, the whispers embraced.

– Stangel

“Don’t want no other shade of blue but you
No other sadness in the world would do”
Taylor Swift